To Be Shot of

I have been this for way to long. I need to figure a way that works with me to become organized again. I think the only thing to do is to take the time out of the day to write stuff down and clean as I go.

today is a great day in boston. im going to enjoy it. enough said

So on another note today, I dropped some stuff off with my ex and as we were talking I come to find out shes been hanging out with one of my friends. Now when we had one of our mini break up’s he told me she was trying to hang out with him and he said no because that would be wrong. Of course at the time I said well hang out with her cause she needs some freinds cause she moved up from Texas and was having trouble getting to know people. So, he said no no no thats not cool cause I know you wouldnt do that to me. Of course I agreed so this pass V-day apparently they were hanging out. Ive been friends with this person for twelve years and he wants to not stick to his word. I dont know if anything happened but it seems like it was going to go down that road. Shes lied to me for two years and the last thing I need on my plate right now is for my “best friend” to lie to me as well. Even if it was friends thats still a little skewed in my eyes. Well, I guess I know where my friendship lied.

So my buddy plays in this band and they are definately worth seeing live. He said they would describe them under the genre of doom folk which fit very well. They put on a very good show! I took some pictures of them and they are on my flickr account @ www.flickr.com/photoengel check em out via myspace, but personally I think they are way better live!

It has been one of the biggest challenges yet. Days have felt slower, nights longer and appetite is really no longer there. Monster and cigarettes have been the best thing lately and the worst. Devious thoughts consume day dreams we all enjoy, and anger strikes at the most random of times. Ive lost a part of me in the last two years that I seem I cannot get back. The door shut behind me in a room that is so dark the only sense you have is knowing your just standing straight up. The feeling of who was once there, behind the door, has been shattered. Now the only thing to do is pick up the pieces and form them into the shapes we all separately choose and apply to everyday. For now within fitting the shards, it’s time to find the window.